I will become a Handmaiden...

I will become a Handmaiden as silence was a companion in my life.

Mommy's boyfriend said be silent, your Mommy will get mad at you.

So I learned silence.

When Mommy brought home "the evil one" and said they were to marry I stayed silent.

Any time I tried to speak out horror became my companion.

Aunts, uncles, Mommy all saw the "things".

I didn't want anything except to feel safe.

Four little girls locked up with a monster.

You bet we were silent.

He abused me emotionally, sexually, physically, spiritually, and intellectually.

I was silent.

Time passes, truths come out and if we find the right women we can finally end our silence.

I am not a victim

I am not a survivor

I am a whole spiritual loving woman.

I can be silent as a Handmaiden but I am a Warrior with a voice when I need it.

I will speak with silence but I will never be quiet again!

- Patti, NH